Have you watched the Spring Festival Gala?
I don't know if you guys got any funny memes or nice songs, what I got was (there is and only) a set of love heads↓
Niangniang also turned on the spit mode online:
This reminds me of the last movie screening I attended before returning home for the Spring Festival, "Chinese Table Tennis", where Deng Chao and Sun Li had a friendly consultation on the question of "who is in charge at home". (You can guess what the final conclusion is)
This pair is really so good both in and out of the play.
Blood and warmth
"Chinese Table Tennis" tells the story of the early 90s of last century, when Chinese men's table tennis rose from the trough and regained its peak. It has some details and is based on the history of the Chinese men's table tennis championship regaining the team championship of the World Table Tennis Championships after eight years in 1995.
Deng Chao plays the iron-fisted young marshal Dai Minjia who returned from Italy, while Sun Li plays Dai Minjia's wife, Wang Ying, in the film.
The Chinese men's table tennis in "Chinese Table Tennis" is not the "big devil" we know now.
In the face of the rise of Sweden and other European legions, Chinese men's table tennis lost one after another in the World Series and fell into the darkest moment.
This is where the story begins.
Receiving the call of the state, Dai Minjia resolutely returned to China with his pregnant wife Wang Ying. The people he gathered were a bunch of "remnant soldiers" and "hairy boys" who were not favored.
Xu Weizhou's Bai Minhe, although he can play the world's best arc ball, but has a serious shoulder injury.
Huang Zhao, played by Duan Wenbo, turned out to be playing doubles, and was ready to retire and go abroad, and was fished back by Dai Minjia.
Chipper Gong Feng, withdrawn personality and highly myopic.
And Hou Zhuoxiang and Dong Shuai were unknown newcomers in the table tennis world at that time.
In the eyes of outsiders, it is almost impossible to rely on this group of "strange people" to rewin the World Table Tennis Championships men's team championship.
But Dai Minjia thought of a lot of tricks: for example, Dai Minjia used Gong Feng as a secret weapon and kept him from appearing in international competitions, in order to be able to win surprisingly at key moments.
In order to understand the advanced technology of foreign countries, Dai Minjia sent two active players to play leagues abroad, which caused considerable controversy in the public opinion environment at that time.
However, if you want to turn over, you have to change, and you have to "bite the back teeth and go forward."
In the cinema, I seemed to be on a time machine, traveling back to the historical scene, witnessing Guoping step by step out of the darkest moment and returning to the peak.
Burning is the tone of the movie, but what is rare is that the film delicately tells a family and emotional line outside the grand narrative, which is not superfluous or abrupt.
The emotional line between Dai Minjia and Wang Ying touched me very much.
Wang Ying is the one who knows Dai Minjia best. When her husband decided to give up the favorable treatment in Italy and return to China to teach, Wang Ying had hesitation in her heart.
But she chose to accept it, because she knew Dai Minjia and knew that Dai had a dream about Chinese men's table tennis in his heart, and no matter how strong the external force could not extinguish it.
After returning to China, the living conditions were not as good as before, and I could only live in a small single room without a separate bathroom. Wang Ying will complain and hope that her husband can spend more time with the children.
But instead of falling into loss, she tried to give her family the best environment, and the fish sent by her hometown was served with noodles, which was a nutritious and frugal meal.
She would also accompany her husband to watch the video of the table tennis game and give him some worldly advice.
At critical moments, her perseverance and bravery are Dai Minjia's last reliance.
The movie has such a plot: after Dai Minjia failed to impact the World Table Tennis Championships for the first time, he was violently attacked by public opinion. When Dai Minjia was surrounded by controversy, Wang Ying became the one who supported her husband.
She loudly refuted the doubts of the outside world: "Do you want you to come and see how luxurious our family is?" Our family's old Dai lumbar spine is paralyzed if it does not move well! If even such people (if you all have to question) ... Who else will step up when the team needs it? ”
Wang Ying said what her husband could not say, she felt her husband's pain, and her bravery also helped this pain find an outlet, so that Dai Minjia would not be defeated by pain.
Everyone is not an island, and we all need some warmth to burst out with passion and blood.
Dai Minjia is very strong, and Wang Ying, who supports Dai Minjia, is also very strong.
The relationship between Dai Minjia and Wang Ying in the movie reminds me of Deng Chao and Sun Li in reality.
Strong men and strong women
They were evenly matched for 18 years
Deng Chao and Sun Li, it can be said that falling in love, getting married, and having children under the eyes of the audience have always been a couple that have attracted considerable attention.
I have never liked the love story of deifying your circle, but the growth line of Sun Li and Deng Chao, a strong CP, shows me a mature and grand view of marriage, which may have some enlightenment for young people who are lost in marriage.
In 2005, Sun Li and Deng Chao "fell in love because of the play" when they filmed "Happiness Like a Flower". In 2006, the romance was exposed.
This relationship had an ordinary beginning, and the two at that time were among the fastest rising flowers and students in the circle, so not many people were optimistic about this "ordinary" relationship.
At that time, an article analyzed that Deng Chao and Sun Li were too far apart in terms of personality and family background. Deng Chao is emotional, Sun Li is rational. Deng Chao sometimes gives people a sense of cynicism, while Sun Li is the rigorous and calm one.
For marriage, Sun Li also used to be insecure. She said she was unmarried.
But who would have thought that two people with different personalities became the most complementary pair after being together, like two puzzles, each filling in the missing piece of each other's life.
The optimistic Deng Chao gave Sun Li a sense of relaxation that he had not had in the past. Sun Li said in an interview that falling in love with Deng Chao was the happiest thing she had ever encountered.
Deng Chao said he liked Sun Li's "cleanliness" and "quietness." She sat there quietly, and he felt fine. Sun Li is the one who can "stabilize" Deng Chao.
Differentiation is also the basis of mutual attraction, but if it is a constant differentiation, red roses will also coagulate into mosquito blood, and white roses will become rice grains in the mouth - always very different, but no longer attractive.
The most rare thing about Deng Chao and Sun Li is that they combine because of their differences, but they also subtly affect each other.
Sun Li gradually became open-minded and cheerful, Weibo blacked himself out from time to time, and the humor gene in his body was activated by Deng Chao.
Deng Chao, on the other hand, was influenced by Sun Li's self-discipline, began to go to bed early and get up early, and also began to grasp some complex roles that require "quiet" and "stability".
The same frame of the two always seems to be so on the same frequency. We even sometimes can't tell whether this is Sun Li or Deng Chao.
Growing up at the same frequency is also another inspiration for this pair of strong CPs.
Deng Chao and Sun Li have been together for 18 years, they did not let either party sacrifice their careers for the family, on the contrary, the two people who have always focused on their careers have always been in a state of parallel progress in the workplace, each with their own specialty.
Deng Chao specializes in the film industry.
In 2017, he won the Golden Rooster Award for Best Actor with "Scorching Sun". Zhang Yimou said that Deng Chao was a "joker." For the role, he made the crazy act of gaining 20 pounds and then quickly losing 40 pounds.
Sun Li is the uncompromising shoulder of the TV drama circle, and the top position in the Mesozoic Dynasty of internal entertainment.
Since the first drama "Jade Guanyin", Sun Li has been particularly popular with the audience.
She won the Golden Eagle Award for Most Popular Actress twice, the Magnolia Award for Best Actress twice, and the Feitian Award for Outstanding Actress in 2018, becoming the youngest Grand Slam queen in the TV industry.
Needless to say, how hot "The Legend of Zhen Huan" is, I alone contributed almost 500 clicks.
For acting, Sun Li and Deng Chao, like each other, are each devoted, each is the main body, and it is difficult to distinguish between high and low for the persistence and seriousness of acting.
Take "Chinese Table Tennis" for example, Sun Li played Wang Ying not many scenes, it is difficult to imagine that in a sports movie dominated by male athletes, she only through a few literary dramas, this Wang Ying with few scenes is shaped into flesh and blood, cute and three-dimensional. The number of appearances is numbered, but every appearance is very remarkable.
I was very impressed, in addition to the above mentioned, Wang Ying asked Dai Minjia's leaders to eat Shengzhou noodles, so that they could feel how "luxurious" the family was; And she called Dai Minjia to announce the congratulations, saying that her son could speak, but the first word that came out of her son's mouth was not "dad" or "mom", but "sa".
At this scene, Sun Li's eyes were very bright. I can feel her heartfelt joy as a mother and seeing her children grow up. This is the strength of a good actor, as long as she is given a shot, she can play a role.
One is a powerful movie actor, the other is a Grand Slam TV, and the two are still looking for better roles and scripts, and they keep walking.
Men and women are also strong, and they are truly evenly matched, and they are always at the same frequency.
This kind of "same frequency sense" that has been maintained for many years, not to mention the entertainment industry, is rare in real life, which is also an important reason why intimate relationships are always stable.
How to stay "evenly matched" in intimate relationships
It is difficult for a couple or couple to maintain the same frequency of life and career, so why can Deng Chao and Sun Li maintain "equal strength" for so many years?
Watching their interviews, I noticed that one thing is "independence". Although they live together and often cooperate, they always see each other as individuals.
If Deng Chao wants to find Sun Li to act, he must pass through her literary coordinator and agent, and cannot go through the back door. Sun Li once offered to participate in "Chinese Table Tennis Jedi Strikes Back", Deng Chao also considered it again, and finally agreed to use Sun Li at the suggestion of Cai Zhenhua's wife Huang Sheng.
This kind of career "division" is actually a respect for each other's professionalism and a reverence for the market.
Cooperation is based on the recognition of each other's business capabilities and role adaptation, not because of the selling point of "husband and wife", we must tie up.
You know, after a long time of career binding, the consequences of becoming a business husband and wife file are still very terrible, and there are too many lessons from overturning in your circle. And too much business will also blur the cognitive boundaries of intimacy, and one day, the feelings aroused by the partner can only be associated with money, and the intimate relationship will be completely over.
All emotions used for sales and marketing will eventually deteriorate, including parent-child relationships and husband and wife relationships, so Deng Chao Sun Li basically will not use husband and wife feelings and children as any selling points, which is a deep wisdom.
Secondly, Sun Li also mentioned a word, which is "to see".
Many relationships are ruined by indifference and numbness. And "seeing" in the relationship can make the other person feel valued.
For example, Deng Chao has said on many occasions that Sun Li's play is very good, and she is an excellent actor. Her support is the greatest ability to advance his career.
And Sun Li also "saw" Deng Chao's efforts.
Because the director's films have been questioned in the past, Deng Chao is full of tension and anxiety about the new movie "Chinese Table Tennis Jedi Strikes Back".
Sun Li saw through his anxiety and specifically mentioned this at the press conference. Being seen through by Sun Li, Deng Chao couldn't hold back all of a sudden, and turned his head to wipe his tears.
This is especially like the scene in the movie where Wang Ying defends her husband. They do this not because they are husbands, but because they see each other's efforts and believe that they deserve respect.
It is important to look at the other person objectively as an individual.
By treating the other person as someone independent of you, you can see his efforts as an individual, and you will be moved by this effort and will give this effort your own support; Then, his efforts will also inspire your fighting spirit, and you will also ignite confidence and ambition, and eventually become a strong person.
This is what "close match" really means.
Sister E's epilogue
Why is "evenly matched" love so bad?
Because two already strong and attractive souls, in the process of self-realization, strive to maintain a "sense of the same frequency" of common growth, just like two oak trees growing side by side, experiencing wind and rain together, admiring the flowers and hauni together, the roots are deeper and deeper into the earth, and the green leaves gradually grow into the clouds——
This is a totem of vitality, two healthy self-energizing self-expressions, their energy will be inspired, stimulate expectations and ambitions for the future, this is the essence of "shi".
Finally, what revelation is hidden in the growth line of Sun Li and Deng Chao's intimate relationship?
First, the relationship of equal strength is easy to start with, but difficult to maintain. The relationship is fluid, even if both parties are at the same frequency at the beginning, if a person loses independence, no longer pays attention to self-realization and value pursuit, and neglects to improve his talents, he may still lose balance.
Second, no matter what relationship a person is in, he must attach importance to the word "self", do not eliminate boundaries in the relationship, and let the self be swallowed by others or the environment; We must also know how to protect the boundaries of others, do not let the self expand more and more, produce a sense of oppression on others, and make yourself an abyss for others.
While growing up in self, we also respect the will of the other party; They are all independent individuals, but each other is spiraling, which is equal love, and it is a healthy and lasting relationship.
-Today's headline のAuthor-
Your little fairy Sister E, the black queen who loves to watch movies
Duty Student: Little Pepper American Editor: Sloth