Ji Xianlin: Rabbit

Wen \ Ji Xianlin

I don't remember when, but after my family moved from the north end of a quaint stoned street to the south end, I had three rabbits.

Speaking of rabbits, I've loved them since I was a kid. When I was in my hometown, many families in the same village had a litter of rabbits. Dig a well-like round hole in the ground, not deep, and at the bottom of the hole there is a small hole leading to the side, and the rabbit lives in it. For some reason, we never remember having such a hole in our house. Every time I went with the adults to play in other rabbits' homes, and the adults were talking happily, I always walked lightly to the entrance of the cave and secretly looked in—the rabbits were wandering outside the hole. There are black and white flowers, and there are pure black ones. I like pure white because my eyes are red and beautiful, and my long transparent ears sway from side to side. The mouth also trembled as if trembling, chewing on the root of the vegetable or something. When they saw the figures, they all quickly ran into the small hole, like a slippery white and black smoke. If you bend down and look again, in the thin darkness of the small hole, you will only see a pair of pairs of transparent jewel-like eyes.

One spring before I walked out of my childhood, I remember that it was just after the New Year, and by chance, I left my hometown and went to a city famous for its lakes and mountains. From the gap between the tall buildings, I only saw a glimmer of blue sky. Where is this sky covered like a pot in my hometown? I can't see the trees shrouded in a light mist in the distance, I can't see the clouds like water floating in the sky, I can't smell the earth. I feel like I live in the Gray Country. All day long, I heard only the sound of noisy cars and horses. In the middle of the night, there were also hawker cries wafting from the distant alleys. I am a child of the earth, and I long to return to the bosom of the earth. At that time, the little heart will also feel empty sadness. But the one that I can't forget the most, which occupies my entire heart, is the rabbit in my hometown with jewel-like eyes.

I don't remember a few years later, but in the autumn, my uncle came home from Wangkou Mountain, and the servant picked up a load of things. Above is the famous fat peach wrapped in pu, and below is a wooden cage. I was wondering what would be in the cage, but the servant had already raised the cage to my eyes—a trembling mouth, long transparent ears, red jewel-like eyes... Isn't this the rabbit I dreamed of? I remember when he went to Wangkou Mountain, I told him to bring some rabbits back. At the time, it was just casual, but now it actually brought it. It was like pulling me back to my hometown. How do I rejoice? There were three in the cage: one large, black, like a mother; Two small, white. I immediately ditched the delicious fat peaches and ran around, busy looking for cabbage, looking for bean sprouts, feeding them. I set up a place for them and finally settled under my bed.

When I was a child in my hometown, I crouched on other people's holes and envied other people's rabbits, and now there are actually three under my bed. In this regard, this is simply less credible than a fairy tale. Initially, when it was released from the cage, cats immediately squeezed in. The rabbit seemed to be very timid, lying on the ground, not daring to move. The ears were pressed against the head, only the mouth trembled more. Chased the cat away before slowly trying to run. In the blink of an eye, I ran under the bed again. On the first night after having the rabbit, I lay in bed, tossing and turning, listening to the sound of the rabbit chewing bean sprouts under the bed. It was as if I was floating in a cloud, and I had forgotten what kind of dreams I had.

In this way, three little lives were added to my bed out of thin air. Whenever I sat at a table by the window reading, the rabbit would creep out from under the bed without making a sound. I looked at them with bated breath from the pages. First a large probe, then retracted; Another probe, came out, a black smoke. They were followed by two small ones, both white as a ball of snow, and their eyes were red and shining, like one—I couldn't tell what they looked like. Like onyx manin is more shiny than agate. So he looked around with these little red eyes, walked under the blades of grass hanging from the flower pot, trembled a few times, paused and walked to the book. His mouth trembled like a few times, and he paused and walked under the small stool. The mouth trembled a few times, and then stopped. Suddenly, I felt something soft and fluffy leaning against my feet. I knew it was a rabbit lying at my feet. I was patient and did not dare to move, and somehow my legs suddenly twitched. When I looked again, there was black smoke, two white smoke, and rabbits hidden under the bed. Crouched down to look, in the dark corner under the bed, I saw only a pair of eyes like transparent gems.

It's autumn, as mentioned earlier. There was a begonia tree outside the window of the house where I lived. I used to hear that rabbits are weak. Cats are a big threat to it. Before the rabbits came to live under my bed, there were often cats in the house. When the door was closed, the begonia tree became the way for cats to come to my house. Since I had rabbits, I have often woken up indifferently on long cold autumn nights. The wind outside the window was blowing the fallen leaves, and I suspected that the cat had climbed up the window from a begonia tree. The continuous night rain hit the fallen leaves, and I suspected that the cat had climbed up the window. I waited quietly and saw no cats come in. When I looked down, the rabbit was running back and forth on the ground. In the dim light, it looks more like a slippery black smoke and white smoke, and the eyes are more red and bright like gems. When I was about to fall asleep, I heard a "Mi" sound in a trance, and looked at the place where there was a hole in the window, and two light-like eyes were looking in.

When I woke up the next morning, the first thing I had to do was to look down and see if the rabbit had lost it. When I saw the two little rabbits sleeping next to the big one like white hairs, my heart seemed to be comforted. After a while, when I came back to the house to read, I could see them running back and forth under their feet. In fact, there was no sound, and the room always seemed to be full of life and jubilation. The surrounding air also became soft and sweet. The rabbit gradually became less timid, and he was not very evasive when he saw me. The first time a rabbit tamely let me pet it, I cried with joy.

If my memory is any way to live, there will always be half a fall in such a poetic situation. I can still vaguely remember that when the rabbits were just loaded in their cages, the yard was full of flowers. As soon as I closed my eyes, I could still see the faint green layer floating in the courtyard at that time. Rabbits often run out of the house to play in the cracks of the flower pots, and the meridian lilies in the goldfish bowl seem to protrude from the surface of the water with two white flowers. Only relying on a rare shadow, this memory may not be reliable. With this green gas, this goldfish tank, I could see the red and green window near the begonia tree, embedded with a small glass with traces of rain and soil. There are still a few spider silks glued to the window paper, inside the window is my desk, and further in, there is the bed, and the rabbit lives under the bed... It all seems to float before your eyes. But like smoke, like fog, the eyes will disappear into the void.

Didn't I say that after about half autumn,—— when the flowers and plants in the yard gradually decreased, it immediately seemed empty. But the fallen leaves are more at the price, there is no water in the goldfish tank for a long time, and the sky is bluer and longer; The distant autumn has turned into a gloomy winter. On such a blue morning, I leaned down again as usual to see if the rabbit had been lost. - Strange, empty under the bed, as if something was missing. Looking closely, I saw two little rabbits sleeping desolate against each other. Where did their mother run away? I immediately panicked, sweating all over my body. Originally, for a few days, the big rabbit became more daring, and often sneaked into the patio by himself. I'm afraid I sneaked out again this time. But everywhere, inside the house, outside the house, I found it, there was no shadow, and when I looked back, I saw two little rabbits nestled at my feet, and an inexplicable desolation hit my heart. I cried, I left my mother very early, and I thought about her a lot. I felt desolate and lonely. It seems that these two little rabbits feel as desolate and lonely as I do. I have nowhere to talk, except in a dream, where is the little rabbit going, and how? - I cried again.

At first, I still had hope, and I hoped that the big rabbit would come back on its own and give me a big joy. But day by day, my hopes were finally dashed. I love these two bunny even more. I used to love them because of their bright red eyes and soft snowy fur. The love that followed was mixed with sympathy. Sometimes I want to use my caresses to make up for their sadness over the loss of their mother, but where is this possible? I saw them gradually lose weight, and when they ran around the house, they were not as brisk as before, and they often snuggled under my feet. I held them in my arms and also metably crouched still. When I saw them staggering away, my little heart was really filled with nameless sorrow!

This situation did not last long. Two or three days later, I suddenly found only a rabbit running around the house, and where was the companion, I panicked again, and I found it everywhere: in the corners, under the table, and everywhere in the patio, whispering, falling leaves creaking under my feet. Finally, there is no shadow. When I saw this remaining little creature pacing alone, and listening to the characteristic autumn wind on the cornice, tears flowed again. - Is it looking for its mother? Looking for its brother? Why don't you even sigh? The jewel-like eyes also seemed to have crystal tears. At night, in the dim light, I did not see it sleeping under the bed; It's just running around the house non-stop. This cold and hard land, this long autumn night, there is no mother, no brother to snuggle. A bleak cold dream haunts it, how can it sleep?

The next morning, it was bluer, a little strangely blue. The hut was brightly illuminated, and when the rabbit ran in front of my eyes, there seemed to be a little red on the white fluff that flashed, and when I looked again, next to the transparent rosy ears, I found a little blood stain - only a little, lined with snow-white hair, more red, like the spots on the bloodstone, like a little sunset in the western sky. I was a little anxious. I've heard people say that rabbits will die if they see blood, no matter how many drops. Is this lonely little life without a mother and brother going to die? I don't believe it, it's even more remote than a myth, but what lies in front of me is that little red blood, how to deny it? I picked it up, as if I knew that some misfortune was coming to him, and only crouched in my arms, not moving, letting go, and not running away. At the end of the day, in the dim light of dusk, when I lowered my head again to look under the bed, I saw nothing but some cabbage and bean sprouts. I searched everywhere and found nothing. I knew something was going to happen. And, I thought, too: that's fine. Otherwise, a lonely one living in the world, without getting a little warmth, under the attack of desolation and loneliness, how can this long life be emaciated? I don't cry, but the tears flow into my stomach, and the sadness weighs heavily on my heart, and I think of my mother in my hometown.

In this way, for half the fall, none of the three rabbits that ran out and ran under my bed were gone. When I sat at the table by the window and read again, I couldn't see anything from the page. Looking out through the glass window with traces of wind and rain: the begonia tree has long lost its leaves, leaving only bald branches and supporting the long autumn sky of the eyes. At night, when I heard the chatter outside, I suspected it was a cat. I woke up from the blindness, although sometimes I saw two lamp-like round eyes in the window hole. But when I looked under the bed, there were no rabbits pacing back and forth. As soon as you look at it, you will see messy shadows all over the ground, one black smoke, two white smoke. Look closer, what's there? There was nothing, only the dim light shining through the cold and silent autumn night, and the crackling outside was the rain, cold, lonely, mixed with a little empty sadness, which suppressed my heart. Everything is empty, what kind of dream can I have again?