Chen Changyan and his mother-in-law Xia Zhi mushroom
In the traditional Chinese virtues, there is such a sentence: "Filial piety comes first!" The ancients believed that filial piety was the most important of all good deeds, ranking first.
When parents enter old age, they are unable to take care of themselves in life, and they need their children to repay the grace of parenting, and assume the obligation of support. But in Wuhan, there is such a filial piety, who is himself an old man over seventy years old, and he also has to take care of another hundred-year-old man, which is a full 44 years.
The centenarian mother-in-law is physically tough, but has a bad temper, and the septuagenarian son-in-law tolerates filial piety and meticulous care
The residence of Chen Changyan and Xia Zhi mushrooms
In 2012, two elderly people lived on the second floor behind a storefront called "Master Zhang's Characteristic Breakfast" on Fushan Street in Wudian District, Wuhan, Hubei Province. The younger one is called Chen Changyan, who is already 76 years old. The other older one is called Xia Zhi Mushroom, 102 years old, the age difference between the two is 26 years old, and the relationship is not mother and son-in-law, but mother-in-law and son-in-law.
So why do the two of them live together? Why is the 102-year-old mother-in-law not cared for by her biological children?
According to Chen Changyan, because his wife died 44 years ago, now only his mother-in-law is by his side, becoming a lonely centenarian with no one around to take care of her, so filial piety is what he should do.
Don't look at Xia Zhi mushroom is a centenarian, but her usual life habits are very exquisite, whether it is getting up, eating, sleeping, etc. are quite regular. For example, she got up at eight o'clock in the morning and prepared to eat breakfast, but she asked to eat in bed, eat lunch at twelve o'clock in the afternoon, and eat dinner at five o'clock in the evening.
Summer mushrooms sat on the bed and ate breakfast
Don't look at the old man of Xia Zhi Mushroom, who is 100 years old, but the body is still quite tough, usually can sweep the floor by himself, and his thinking is relatively clear, that is, his hearing is not very good. In addition, her temper is relatively bad, easy to get angry, the neighbors say that the elderly always feel that others are saying bad things about her, she will scold others behind her back.
Chen Changyan said that he could adapt to the temper of this mother-in-law, because he had been used to it for decades, even if the other party was angry, he also laughed and ignored it.
Although in the eyes of outsiders, the temper of the old man of Xia Zhi mushroom is strange, in chen Changyan's eyes, the mother-in-law is a bitter person, she has been a child adopted daughter-in-law who has been carried to someone else's home since she was a child, and when she reaches middle age, she becomes a widow, and when she enters her old age, she loses her daughter and becomes a widow.
Xia Zhimu's daughter, That is, Chen Changyan's wife Xie Congzhen, died as early as 44 years ago, although his wife died early, but Chen Changyan believes that it is not easy for the husband and wife to have a relationship, and still has deep feelings for his wife. Therefore, the obligation of the mother-in-law to send the elderly to the end of the year can only be taken over by him.
From a young age to set the doll kiss, the first sight of love at first sight, the letter of a deep love, after marriage to get together less and more can not block the feelings of the two
Xie Congzhen and Chen Changyan
Xie Congzhen is one year younger than Chen Changyan, born in 1937, is a Hubei Xiantao, her home and Chen Changyan's home is only a few tens of kilometers away, but the two families have already set up a doll kiss, Xie Congzhen and Chen Changyan were only 16 years old when they first met.
According to Chen Changyan's recollection, when he went to Xie Congzhen's house, Xia Zhi mushroom took a number of eggs, he said too much, taking 8 is enough, the result is that the whole house laughed, thinking that he was stupid, where there are 8 eggs, generally about 4.
From that day on, after Chen Changyan went to Xie Congzhen's house, Xia Zhi mushrooms would get 8 eggs in his bowl of noodles. He and Xie Congzhen had a good feeling for each other, and since then, the two have more contact.
When she was young, Chen Changyan was a soldier in Shenyang and was handsome and handsome, while Xie Congzhen was a beautiful girl, and there were many people around who liked her. At that time, the bad habit of feudal etiquette "doll kissing" had been changed, but the two of them really liked each other and had firm beliefs.
Xie Congzhen and Chen Changyan
Although the two families were not far apart, the traffic conditions at that time were not good, resulting in the two people not meeting much, and they could only choose to contact by letter. Surprisingly, writing letters became the most important emotional sustenance for their future lives.
In the letter, Chen Changyan often told Xie Congzhen that he would be good to her for a lifetime, and their love also sprouted quietly between the lines. Soon, the time came to 1961, the two cultivated the right results, 25-year-old Chen Changyan and 24-year-old Xie Congzhen officially married.
After marriage, the two still could not stay together as they wished, xie congzhen found a job in a local factory, but after chen Changyan completed three years of military service, he was assigned to Qinghai Province, thousands of kilometers away, where he worked as a post and telecommunications bureau reporter.
Chen Changyan is writing the Spring League
In this way, the two people who rarely met before marriage did not expect to have fewer opportunities to meet after marriage. Chen Changyan could only write to his wife in the same way as before, at least two or three times a week, and he always comforted his wife in the letter, and he had to do a good job.
Chen Changyan works on a plateau at an altitude of 4,800 meters, where the climate is harsh and the living conditions are very harsh, he is not highly educated, but he is very able to bear hardships and study, working 15 hours a day.
One day, he received a letter from his wife, who complained that he was not motivated, in fact, he received honorary certificates and medals every year, but he had not yet joined the organization. The reason is that he has never written an application, but he has strictly demanded himself according to the rules of the organization.
Chen Changyan received a certificate of honor and a medal
At that time, from Hubei Hankou to Qinghai Golmud to return to take 14 days, Chen Changyan's unit only 4 reporters, each person's rotation time is an average of 3 years, in order to reunite with his family early, he gave up many opportunities for promotion, for example, in 1963, Golmud City Post and Telecommunications Bureau invited him to serve as a deputy bureau post, he politely refused, just to do a good job in his job.
In the 7 years since the two were married, he has only returned home twice, and the number of days he stayed at home each time did not exceed 40 days, even if the two had a short time together, it was the happiest time in Chen Changyan's life.
The wife suffered from a serious heart attack but was pregnant, preferring to give up her life to have a child, and unfortunately died the next day after giving birth
Xie Congzhen
In 1964, when Xie Congzhen steamed meat with a cage, he told Chen Changyan to look forward to the steaming of the meat, and she wanted to go to work, but Chen Changyan forgot his wife's confession after going out, and when he returned, the meat was burned, and the bottom of the pot was also burned through a big hole. I thought that after his wife returned, she would reprimand him, but what she didn't expect was that after Xie Congzhen learned about this matter, she just smiled and did not pursue the matter.
In 1966, Chen Changyan's father-in-law died, and Xia Zhimu, who had lost her husband, became a widow, so she had to move in with her daughter Xie Congzhen. Two years later, one day in 1968, Xia Zhimu suddenly found that Xie Congzhen always felt unwell, and took her to the hospital for examination, it turned out that she was pregnant.
The matter of his wife's pregnancy, according to common sense, is a great joy for Chen Changyan, and the two have been separated for so many years and finally have their own children. However, Chen Changyan did not know whether he was happy or worried, because Xie Congzhen was ill and had a serious heart attack.
Chen Changyan's family of three photo albums
Xie Congzhen's heart disease is one of the most serious: mitral stenosis, often have red spots on the body, and every time she has to go to the hospital for injections. In April 1968, Xie Congzhen had another heart attack, and Chen Changyan, who was far away in Qinghai, learned of his wife's condition and immediately took leave to rush back to his home in Wuhan.
Chen Changyan took Xie Congzhen to a chest hospital in Shanghai for treatment, after a period of treatment, they returned home from Shanghai, pregnant Xie Congzhen wanted to leave a offspring for Chen Changyan, but at this time Xie Congzhen due to heart disease, if you give birth to a child, it may be life-threatening, but she still insists on letting the child be born.
When Xie Congzhen gave birth, she was breathing heavily, and the hospital was worried about the seriousness of the situation, so she immediately issued a critical illness notice to inform her family. In the end, after 5 hours of painful childbirth, at about 4 p.m., Xie Congzhen gave birth to a baby boy.
Son of Chen Changyan and Xie Congzhen
However, what makes people sigh is that Xie Congzhen died at about ten o'clock on the second night after giving birth to the child. The death of his wife made Chen Changyan extremely sad, and xiazhi mushroom, who lost his only daughter, washed his face with tears every day and could not even eat.
After dealing with the aftermath of his wife Xie Congzhen, Chen Changyan entrusted his son, who was still in his infancy with only 3 pounds, to his mother-in-law in Hankou to take care of him, but his mother-in-law, Xia Zhimu, did not know who to take care of, because she had lost her husband and daughter and would become a lonely and miserable life in the future.
The husband promised to take care of his mother-in-law before his wife's death, and for 44 years he kept his promise to fulfill his filial piety
Chen Changyan hugged his mother-in-law Xia Zhi mushroom
Xie Congzhen had entrusted Chen Changyan before his death, and after his death, his mother hoped that he would retire and send him to the end. After the death of his wife, chen Changyan's life burden was not alleviated, but increased, not only to raise his son, but also to take care of his mother-in-law, but also to return to Qinghai to continue working.
In fact, before her death, my wife said: After she left, what would her mother do? At that time, Chen Changyan simply replied: You can rest assured, there is me. It was this simple comforting sentence that made Chen Changyan keep his promise to his wife, and this perseverance was enough to take care of his mother-in-law for 44 years.
Chen Changyan found his wife Xie Congzhen's unit before he died, and after consulting with the other party, the unit agreed to give Xia Zhi mushrooms 13 yuan per month as a living subsidy. In this way, the old man's living problems were temporarily alleviated, and he also returned to Qinghai to continue his work with confidence.
In the following years, Chen Changyan would send money to Xia Zhi mushrooms one after another every year, but what he did not expect was that the old man returned all the money he sent over.
Chen Changyan helped Xia Zhi mushrooms get dressed
Xia Zhimu specially wrote to chen Changyan that she did not need money at present, and when she was old and unable to take care of herself, she would help her again.
The old man could not read, her letters were written by someone, and what was surprising was that the letter paper and envelopes used by the old man were left by her daughter before she died.
In those years, Chen Changyan remarried, but because of the issue of raising and supporting children and the elderly, there was a conflict with the woman, and eventually the second marriage broke down.
In 1987, 51-year-old Chen Changyan retired from the unit and returned to Wuhan, and it took many years to meet his mother-in-law. He bought a bungalow on Fushan Street as a place to live, but also as a home for the elderly. His son has grown into a 19-year-old boy and does not need his care, but after so many years, is his mother-in-law still alive? If people are alive, where do they live?
Chen Changyan (first from left) with colleagues while working in Qinghai
However, to Chen Changyan's surprise, he soon found out where Xia Zhi mushroom lived. When he saw his mother-in-law again after many years of absence, the old man was 77 years old, and she was packing firewood outside to pick it up, and Chen Changyan rushed forward to help her pick it up.
The old man picked the firewood into the cowshed, which she bought for 70 yuan, and usually washed her clothes in the pond and carried the water herself. At this scene, Chen Changyan felt quite guilty when he saw it. He wanted to take his mother-in-law home for easy care, when his mother was still alive, but Natsuki refused his kindness.
Despite being rejected by her mother-in-law, Chen Changyan would ride her bicycle to the place where Xia Zhi mushrooms lived more than a dozen miles away every week to help her carry water and chop firewood and do some gravity work. If the old man is a little unwell, he also has to buy medicine and water every day.
In 1999, Chen Changyan repeated this and took care of his mother-in-law for twelve years. During this time, his mother died, and his son worked in Qinghai, and he made a decision to bring the 89-year-old Xia Zhi mushroom to live with him.
Chen Changyan works in Qinghai
However, his decision was opposed by the people around him, and everyone advised him that you yourself are also an old man in your sixties, and you have to take care of others, not to mention that you are a son-in-law, not a son, this is not to find big trouble for yourself.
Even though the people around him advised him so much, his determination to take care of his mother-in-law never wavered. After taking the old man over, he renovated the house, arranged some more furniture, and made a special stool with a circle to facilitate the old man to go to the toilet.
The two live together, the living habits are somewhat different, it is inevitable that there will be contradictions, such as summer mushrooms do not like to eat meat and black fungus, if you eat fish, only eat two pieces, more do not. In winter, because of the cold weather, the elderly are reluctant to get out of bed, and they have to stay in bed to eat and drink. One year, when the snow was falling, the old man stayed in bed for 18 days and refused to get out of bed, so Chen Changyan had to bring every meal to the bed for her to eat, and also helped her pour the toilet.
These are not a big deal for Chen Changyan, buying shoes for the elderly is the most difficult, because Xia Zhi mushrooms were born in the late Qing Dynasty and the beginning of the People's Republic, their feet were wrapped around their feet, all two feet appeared relatively small, the right shoe size was not easy to buy, and they could not find shoes to wear after running all over the street.
Chen Changyan cooked noodles for summer mushrooms to eat
Over time, Chen Changyan slowly adapted to the eccentric personality and living habits of the mother-in-law in front of him. The 100-year-old summer mushroom, in addition to hearing loss, diet and sleep are OK. However, Chen Changyan is worried that in the future, as she gets older, she will not be able to continue to take care of her mother-in-law, and may even die in front of her, so what will she do?
Sure enough, life is alive, and things are unpredictable. In 2008, Chen Changyan suffered from a disease, was found to be cholecystitis and gastritis, as well as twelve finger ulcers, could not eat for three consecutive days, even drank saliva is uncomfortable, and when he is unwell, he also has to cook for his mother-in-law. That time was when he was the most ill, and he lost more than twenty pounds in three days.
In order to take care of the elderly, Chen Changyan still endured the pain caused by the disease and did not go to the hospital. However, Xia Zhi mushroom urged him to hurry up and see a doctor. Therefore, he had to entrust the old man to the neighbor who sold breakfast downstairs to help take care of it, and he went to the relatives in Huangpi, Wuhan, to recuperate for a while.
Xia Zhi mushroom sat in front of the shop selling breakfast and waited for Chen Changyan to come home
Since Chen Changyan left her, she usually does not like to go out, but every day she sits in front of the shop that sells breakfast and looks at it from afar, as if waiting for someone to return, the neighbor asked who she was waiting for, she replied and said that she was basking in the sun and warming up her body.
Almost two and a half months have passed, Chen Changyan's condition has improved, and he can finally go home. When the old man saw his son-in-law, who had not been seen for more than seventy days, he did not mention how happy he was, and complained about why it took so long to come back.
Perhaps in the eyes of the old man, he has already regarded this son-in-law as his own son, and he cannot be separated from him for a moment.
Local media reported on Chen Changyan's touching deeds of filial piety, and soon published in the newspapers how his son-in-law in his seventies had taken care of his hundred-year-old mother-in-law for more than forty years. In addition, after the relevant local units and departments learned of this matter, they also adopted a series of preferential treatment for the two of them, subsidizing their living expenses of not less than 700 yuan per month, and the medical expenses were all free.
Chen Changyan's deeds of taking care of his mother-in-law Xia Zhi mushroom appeared in the newspaper
Xia Zhimu's life may be unfortunate, widowed in middle age, widowed in her old age, but she is so lucky, to be able to live a long life, perhaps part of it is inseparable from her son-in-law Chen Changyan's meticulous care for many years, even if it is replaced by her own son, it is difficult to achieve such a filial piety as Chen Changyan.