In the variety show "Praise for The Song", when Zhang Hanyun was questioned about her singing skills, Fang Qi said this:
"He is strong, and the breeze blows on the hill." There are a lot of people today who question your singing skills, and it doesn't matter, because you've given yourself the opportunity to sing again with the microphone.
"Fifteen-year-old Breeze has crossed the hills, and you are still the best age, which is the best gift from heaven to a brave girl."
When Yang Zongwei changed his previous style of singing, danced the stage, and was ridiculed by the crowd, she said:
"If it's for the sake of fans, I don't think it's necessary, because we spend our whole lives not to satisfy everyone, but to find the part of the people who resonate with ourselves."
"The world is very noisy, just be yourself."
Fang Qi's words were warm and powerful, like a warm current, calming the restless heart one by one.
Image source: Panorama Vision
Behind the words, there is the power of empathy.
Without empathy, no amount of flowery rhetoric can move people.
Empathy is the path to love
I heard a netizen's self-report.
Because I worked part-time as a phone caller, I never rudely hung up on a call from a stranger again;
Because the taxi drivers who have heard them tell their helplessness, they will always wait on the side of the road on time and habitually give praise;
Because I have bought high-priced vegetables, I know better that grain is not easy to come by;
Because I have seen the daily life recorded by the takeaway brother, I understand what will happen on the way to deliver the takeaway, so when I take the takeaway, I will always say you.
Because I have had, lost, and regretted, I am more in awe of everyone who has struggled in this world but still does not accept defeat.
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It is empathy that makes the world have many more fiery hearts.
As a passage from The Power of Empathy:
"Use the light of empathy to penetrate the long nights of pain and fear and find what we are all about as human beings."
Psychiatrist David Spiegel did such an experiment.
He randomly divided 86 patients with advanced breast cancer into two groups, both of which provided specialized cancer treatment.
However, there is a little difference.
One group meets once a week for 90 minutes, where everyone shares their feelings about the pain and life and encourages each other.
The other group, on the other hand, had no activities other than receiving usual treatment.
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Later, after analyzing the life curves of the two groups of patients, Spiegel found that before 20 months, the life curves of the two groups of patients basically coincided; After 20 months, there was a noticeable change.
All of the patients in the control group died, while one-third of the patients in the group that kept the group meeting were still alive.
Man can give up everything, but he cannot give up the desire to be understood.
Because of empathy, they have a bridge to each other's hearts.
Without empathy, the bond that connects love is lost.
Not understanding empathy is a disaster
A parable reads:
Sheep, cows and pigs are kept in the same corral.
One day, the shepherd took the pig out.
The pigs howled loudly, and the cows and sheep next to them said with great disgust, "When we were pulled out, we were not as excited as you were." ”
The pig, struggling, replied, "Catching you and catching me are two completely different things, and the only thing that catches you is for wool and milk, but if you catch me, you will kill me!" ”
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I've heard a quote like this:
"Whenever you want to criticize others, you have to remember that not everyone in this world has your superior conditions." 」
Not everyone sees snow and chants and composes music, and some people only feel cold.
This is the short story "Cabbage Soup" written by the writer Turgenev.
A peasant widow suddenly died of her only son, and the landlord's wife learned of this and planned to visit her.
When she came to the widow's house, she saw the widow scooping up thin cabbage soup from the bottom of a dark pot and drinking it one by one, her left hand hanging weakly around her waist.
The landlord's wife remembered that when she had killed her nine-year-old daughter a few years earlier, she was so sad that she refused to live in a villa on the outskirts of Petersburg, determined to spend the whole summer in the city.
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The landlord's wife could not resist scolding the widow: "Ah! You surprised me! Don't you really like your son? How can you still have such a good appetite? How can you still drink this cabbage soup? ”
The widow replied quietly, "My Vassy is dead, my days are over, and I have dug my heart out of people alive." However, the soup should not be wasted, there is salt in it! ”
When Madame had finished listening, she walked away with a disdainful face.
She enjoyed excellent living conditions, stood on her beautiful villa, and blamed a toiling people who could hardly drink cabbage soup.
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Because I don't understand, I am unscrupulous.
Because I don't understand it, it is easy to treat the pain of others that are not superficial as grass.
There is a passage in "To Kill a Mockingbird":
"You can never really get to know a guy unless you walk around in his shoes and think in his shoes. When you actually put on his shoes and walk, you feel sad even passing by. ”
There is no real empathy in the world, but we can learn empathy and say at least one word of "it will be good" when others are tortured.
Only empathy can move people's hearts
There is such a story in "Genius to the Left, Madman to the Right".
A mentally ill man, convinced that he was a mushroom, did not eat or drink, and squatted motionless in the corner of the room.
Many doctors tried to change his mind, but he remained indifferent.
An exception was made by a psychiatrist, who did not dissuade him bitterly, but held up an umbrella and crouched next to him.
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The patient asked curiously, "Who are you?" ”
The doctor replied, "I am a mushroom too." ”
After a while, the doctor stood up and walked around freely, and the patient asked, "Can the mushrooms move around like this?" ”
The doctor replied, "Of course the mushroom can move around." ”
Later, the doctor began to eat, and the patient asked, "Can the mushrooms still be eaten?" ”
The doctor nodded and replied, "Of course." ”
The patient thought and thought, thought it was very reasonable, and walked over and ate.
After a few weeks, the patient was still convinced that he was a mushroom, but he was able to live a normal life.
Empathy is a wonderful experience, like someone hiding in a dark corner crying, and you walk over with a lamp and ask, "Can I sit here?" ”
Your first words of comfort to him are not "Don't cry," but "If I were you, I would cry too."
In the movie "The Melting Pot", Jiang Renhao works as a teacher in a school for the deaf and dumb, and accidentally learns that several students in the school have been violated by the principal for many years, and what is more, no one has stepped forward to stop it.
Do you stand shoulder to shoulder with the cloaked beast, or do you stand up and speak up for the deaf-mute child?
He resolutely chose the latter, but it is conceivable that once he fell into this quagmire, it would be difficult to get out.
Stills from "The Melting Pot" Image source: Douban
Ren Hao's grandmother asked him, "Is it important to kiss your daughter, or is it important to have children over there?" ”
He replied, "If this matter cannot be solved, then I am not confident to be a good father." ”
It is precisely because he has become a father that he can better appreciate how sad he will be if his daughter encounters this.
Seeing Ren Hao, who was arguing with reason, the children who were afraid of being born gradually let down their defenses.
One of the children said, "How nice it would be if the teacher were my dad!" ”
Stills from "The Melting Pot" Image source: Douban
When a person is full of grievances and cannot speak of bitterness, people who know empathy will say, "Tell me everything you know, and I will do my best to understand." ”
What is the nature of empathy?
It is to extend your life into the lives of others, to put your ears in the souls of others, and to listen to the most urgent murmurs with your heart.
Empathy is the breath of life, which is the bond that connects the emotions between people.
It is empathy, so that the island is no longer lonely, so that the sky is no longer far away, so that the sea no longer cries.
As the writer Lu Sihao said: "Some people will inadvertently become your strength." Please also believe that at some point, you will also become a force for others. ”
The warmest force in the world is empathy.
Author: Two Gray.