#Shirley Emotional Q&A#
Q: I asked my ex after I broke up for my last gift to him! Because when I was sick, he quarreled with me and broke up! At that time, I was particularly bad, my heart was uncomfortable, and I couldn't get angry! He kept arguing with me and almost killed me! I ran out of money to take my own medicine, and I bought him gifts because I wanted the relationship between the two people to be better! He also scolded me because of this gift! I bought a box and a letter in it, but he didn't care, and he threw the box on the ground! At that moment I was heartbroken! So after breaking up, I asked him to get this gift back! Since you don't care, don't ask for it! Am I small?
——Tian Shirley replied
If you pay too much attention to the other party in order to maintain a relationship, put all the needs of the other party above your own needs, and wronged yourself, or even sacrificed yourself to please and cater to the other party, then this feeling is doomed to not last.
Because love is two-way and gives to each other. And once you blindly pay in the relationship for a long time, the other party will inevitably have a huge sense of superiority in his heart, and his inner voice is: "Look! I'm just good, I'm just good, otherwise how could she please me so much? If she keeps following me and being good to me, I will reluctantly get along with her, and if she behaves badly to me one day, I can abandon her at any time, and I will definitely have a lot of girls throwing olive branches at me..."
Therefore, he will not love you and respect you because of your efforts, he will only take your hard work for granted, and he will become more intense. It will only feel that you are getting worse and worse, more and more unworthy of the "excellent" him, and one day when he is unhappy, he will abandon you without hesitation and ruthlessness.
This is because you, who have been blindly giving in this relationship, have made your emotional relationship appear to be in an imbalanced state, and it will inevitably end with your whole body.
As for what you sent him, why not ask for it back? After all, no one's money is blown by the wind, and since he doesn't like it, you can naturally take it back, which has nothing to do with the pattern. In addition, you have to remember that no matter what, you must first learn to love yourself well, take yourself seriously, and self-contempt and self-deprecation will not be cherished by others.
