Text/Themi Mama (original article, welcome to share and forward personally)
From the moment the child is sent to the kindergarten, presumably the mothers have an inexhaustible heart from now on, not only worried about the child's poor eating, sleeping well, whether there is bullying and other problems, but also always vigilant against the child's own various moths.
For example, some time ago, my girlfriend Xiaofei ushered in the first test after her son went to kindergarten in the morning.
One morning, Chenchen suddenly lay on the bed and did not want to get up, and he cried incessantly, constantly shouting: "Mom, I don't want to go to kindergarten."
The child's simple words, but let Xiaofei make a mistake, obviously some time ago was fine, how come suddenly do not want to go to kindergarten?
Asking can not ask a reason, Xiaofei can not bear the child has been crying, for a while there is no countermeasure.
In fact, many parents may face such problems, will subconsciously think that this is some small problems of children being lazy and lying in bed, but in fact, behind the children who suddenly say that they do not want to go to kindergarten, there may be a deeper reason hidden.
As parents, we cannot simply draw conclusions in the face of this "unsolved case".
Therefore, today I will share with you how to correctly "solve the case" when encountering this problem.
01. The child suddenly says that he does not want to go to kindergarten, find the reason behind the key, 3 steps to teach you to solve the problem
Before solving the problem, we must cut out two words, that is, "suddenly", if you do not want to go to kindergarten, the problem is sudden, then it means that the child may have encountered some problems in recent times.
At this time, we must analyze according to some of the child's situation, so as to help the child find the answer and solve the problem.
Step 1: Recall the changes in your child's recent life.
For children, some changes in life may break the child's sense of order, so there will be the problem of "not wanting to go to kindergarten".
So, we can recall two problems that may have arisen in the recent past:
First of all, has the child's life pattern changed recently? For example, picking up and dropping off children to and from school, changing a candidate, and for example, the continuous bad weather may make the child feel uncomfortable.
Second, is there something about to happen in the house? For example, the father or mother may have to travel on business, or the grandparents may have to go back to their hometown and so on.
These previously established senses of order, once broken, can cause anxiety in the child and cause problems.
Step 2: Observe changes in your child's behavior.
The child is simple and cute, if there is really any problem, although the language is not clear enough, but the expression of body language (behavior) is obvious.
Therefore, we can observe the child's situation through behavior.
For example, if the child does not want to go to kindergarten, under what circumstances, if it is suddenly proposed on the way you pick up the child from school, then there is a high probability that the child encountered something in the kindergarten.
For example, if there is any abnormality in the child's recent performance, for example, a friend who has played well before suddenly came home and said that he did not want to play with him, which may be because of conflicts with children, he did not want to go to kindergarten.
Step 3: Learn more about the situation from the teacher.
When we perceive some clues through recalling and observing the child's behavior, the last step is to communicate with the teacher to further understand the child's situation.
In this process, as far as possible, describe the child's recent abnormalities to the teacher to determine whether the child has been bullied or has encountered other problems.
When we have completed these three steps, basically the truth can be revealed, and then we can prescribe the right medicine to help the child solve the problem.
Of course, under normal circumstances, the reasons why children suddenly do not want to go to kindergarten are common as the following, in order to facilitate parents to understand the situation in time, to share it with everyone.
02. What are the common reasons why children suddenly do not want to go to kindergarten?
In daily life, 80% of children may have said the phrase "I don't want to go to kindergarten", and behind this sentence, it is actually because the child may be depressed or frustrated for some reasons.
Therefore, it is the most important thing to understand the dilemma that the child may face in time and help the child solve the problem.
Let's take a look at some of the common reasons behind your child's utterance.
Self-cause: The child may be unwell, or have lack of sleep, embarrassment to go to the toilet, and other reasons.
Reasons that disrupt the rhythm of life: Because of the weather, seasons, changing tables, changing teachers, etc., the reasons that break the original rhythm of life.
Interpersonal communication problems: conflicts with good friends, or situations of being excluded and bullied.
Problems with kindergarten teachers: Reasons such as not getting the teacher's attention, recognition, or criticism by the teacher.
When we find the reason, the first thing to do is to encourage and comfort the child, and then accompany the child to overcome the current situation, so that they can also accumulate strength and courage for them to solve problems and get out of the predicament in their future growth.
Of course, as parents, none of us want our children to encounter various problems in entering kindergarten, so if we can kill the problems in the cradle and pave the way for our children to go to kindergarten in advance, then we can worry a lot less and let our children spend a good time in kindergarten.
03. Before entering the kindergarten, how should parents help their children better integrate?
For children, entering kindergarten for the first time is a new beginning, and children are living a group life for the first time, leaving their families and going to an unfamiliar environment.
Therefore, there are bound to be various problems, which require parents to do a good job of laying the groundwork and psychological construction before their children enter the kindergarten to help their children better integrate.
Generally speaking, before the child enters the kindergarten, we can help the child adapt to the kindergarten life faster from two aspects.
First of all, it is to determine a good external environment.
The so-called external environment is to determine whether the kindergarten environment is suitable for children and parents, and can be comprehensively considered from the distance from home, the software and hardware facilities of the kindergarten, and the overall quality of kindergarten teachers.
Second, there is the child's personal problem.
The child's personal problems include presentation skills, self-care skills, social skills, etc.
Of course, many parents will do their best to address these problems and give their children some education and guidance in advance before sending their babies to kindergarten.
However, no matter how many times we verbally tell the child, there may still be some trouble when the child encounters a specific problem, because no matter how clear and thorough we speak, as long as the child does not personally experience and feel, the concept of all problems is vague.
For example, if the child goes to the toilet, we may have told the child countless times at home, and if you want to go to the toilet, you can tell the teacher.
But when the child is in a small group, he may not know how to express his needs, so there will be some anxiety and frustration, which will cause resistance to the kindergarten.
In response to these questions, I have also consulted many friends who are teachers in kindergartens around, and the answer they give is: before the children enter the kindergarten, let the children clearly understand the specific environment and life of the kindergarten.
Only when the child has a certain clear concept of the kindergarten in his heart, can he not be in a hurry and quickly adapt.
So what to do?
Many kindergarten teachers have suggested that parents can accompany their children to read some picture books related to the theme of kindergarten before their children enter the kindergarten.
In the process of parent-child reading, children can integrate with the characters in the story and carry out some immersive experience training, so as to help children better integrate and adapt to kindergarten life.
Among all the picture books related to kindergartens, many kindergarten teachers have strongly recommended the picture book "I Love Kindergarten", which is very suitable for children preparing for kindergarten.
My two babies have also read this set of picture books, especially when Erbao is preparing to go to kindergarten, unlike other children who have separation anxiety, but are particularly happy, because they have seen this set of picture books for children, they know that after entering kindergarten, there are many interesting games, so there is no strangeness to kindergarten, but full of expectations.
"I Love Kindergarten" this set of picture books, a total of 6 themes, each theme corresponds to some problems after the child enters the kindergarten, to help children understand the kindergarten, eliminate the fear of entering the kindergarten, quickly adapt to the life of the kindergarten and so on.
Secondly, this set of picture books closely follows the real scene of the kindergarten, and through the scene demonstration of the animated characters, it truly presents a series of situations that may occur when the child enters the kindergarten, helping the child eliminate the strangeness while allowing the child to learn the correct behavior and practice.
In addition, this set of picture books is rich in many interesting games, so that children can feel the beauty of kindergarten in the process of reading, thereby increasing children's vision and interest in kindergarten life.
In addition, this set of books has a total of 6 volumes, including "I am the best in kindergarten", "You are my good friend", "Eat more, grow up", "Teacher, I want to go to the toilet", "Mom, I want to go to kindergarten", "After school, who will pick me up" A series of problems that children in kindergarten may encounter, comprehensively solving children's kindergarten anxiety and problems.
More importantly, in each book, children will learn some new skills, such as "You are my good friend", when reading to children, it can help children learn certain social skills, lay the foundation for children's high emotional intelligence, so that children can "play kindergarten".
Therefore, if you are still worried and distressed about your child's entry into kindergarten, it is better to use the "I Love Kindergarten" set of picture books to help children establish the concept of kindergarten in advance, as well as find ways to solve specific problems, so that children can integrate into kindergarten life more freely and happily.
At present, this set of picture books has a total of 6 volumes, a total of 88 yuan, each book is also a little more than 10 yuan, interested parents, you can click the link below to understand.
In fact, kindergarten life is not as difficult as parents and children think, and the reason why children encounter various problems is because they feel powerless and do not know how to solve some problems.
Therefore, if we can help children find the "key" to solve the problem, then the child's kindergarten time will be extremely happy and joyful.
Finally, I would like to ask you, when your children went to kindergarten, did they encounter any problems?