I think many people have heard of this book, "Human Disqualification" is not so much a novel as it is more like an autobiography of the author, it is the last work left by Osamu Dazai before he died with the female readers who adored him at the age of 39, so it is more like Osamu Dazai's reflection on his own life at the end of his life.
Osamu Dazai's life is projected on the protagonist, Yezang.
The first time I heard the word "clown spirit", it was in everyone's evaluation of human disqualification, it described the blind obedience to others when interacting with others in daily life, in order to maintain the relationship between each other, even at the expense of becoming a "clown", very good at selling and being good at pretending to be silly and funny, just like the protagonist Ye Zang and the author, Osamu Dazai of Gemini.
When he was a child, Ye Zang was good at using a smiley face as a disguise to win the love of everyone, which is actually a typical Gemini behavior, good at observing the color, and using his language skills to enliven the scene, even if at this time they are forced to wear a laughing clown mask and are not afraid, when they were teenagers, this role was often popular and loved, so it was not difficult to accept being the focus.
As he grew up, Ye Zang gradually became aware of time and gradually saw through it, but he still could not give up the clown mask that had been welded on the flesh.
"In the morning, I woke up and rolled over and got out of bed, and became the original shallow and ignorant comical character who was good at disguise. Cowards are afraid of happiness, they are hurt when they touch cotton, and sometimes they are hurt by happiness. Taking advantage of the fact that I was not injured, I wanted to part ways as soon as possible. I released my usual amusing smokescreen. ”
I believe that many Gemini will have a common feeling about this, even if they are accused of some actions that are already risking the world, Gemini can secretly slander themselves several times, and then laugh it off, "The so-called world, isn't it you?" Such words exist in geminis' hearts, but they are rarely said bluntly, simply for fear of upsetting the other person and making the atmosphere stiff.
But if you only try to please a few people, it is still simple, the difficulty is to get the love of the majority of the people, and finally find the only way to coexist with the majority, for the protagonist is to become a laughing existence, will be understood the extravagant hopes and truths are pressed to the bottom of the heart, praying that the appearance of pretending to be funny will not be exposed.
Therefore, Gemini is very capable of giving in, especially in interpersonal relationships, very good at bending over backwards, obviously seeing thoroughly, but not good at refusing the request of others, "My misfortune lies precisely in my lack of ability to refuse, I am afraid that once I reject others, I will leave a rift in each other's hearts that can never be healed." ”
Among the wind signs, Gemini is the only one who lives under the gaze of everyone, unlike the Whimsical nature of Aquarius, unlike the Buddhist life of Libra, Gemini lives with the world's opinions on their backs, but this is voluntary.
The protagonist Ye Zang and the author Dazai Osamu are like this, even if others speak evil first, they will think that what the other party says is completely correct, and it is themselves who are wrong, so they are willing to bear the criticism of the outside world, even if the inner fear is about to go crazy, they also know that everything is self-inflicted and has nothing to do with the world.
Therefore, the name of this book is "Human Disqualification", not that the world is disqualified, but that it has lost its qualifications to be a human being, just like a monster in human skin walking in the world, looking for identity, looking for acceptance of its own social life, not knowing that the process of seeking understanding is the process of self-destruction.
Until the end, Dazaiji saw through all this, cut open the skin of being a human being, and jumped down the cliff to end his life with his true appearance, because he could not become a human, no matter how he imitated it, he was born to death.
It can be said that this book will make many Gemini empathetic, even if it is too extreme, but always in a corner of the book, you can see your own shadow, so when you are confused, you can choose to read, and when you see people who are self-indulgent because of escapism, usher in the tragedy of self-destruction, perhaps the current dilemma is not so heavy.
Finally, I would like to dedicate a passage that I think is very simple but very meaningful in the book:
Today, I can't talk about happiness or unhappiness. Everything goes back in time. In the so-called "human world", the only thing I am willing to regard as the truth is this sentence. Everything goes back in time. ”
--------------- END -------------