"Parents love their children, and they have far-reaching plans." This sentence comes from Liu Xiang's "Touching the Dragon and Saying Empress Zhao". It probably means that if parents really love their children, they will definitely consider the long-term interests of their children and start planning early.
It is said that it is natural for parents to love their children, especially for mothers, pregnant in October, raised and raised, the hardships of which are self-evident, so how can they not love their children? Indeed, around us, there are parents who can give up everything for their children and give everything they want.
But as the old saying goes, there are birds in the forest, in fact, not all parents are competent, and they all really love their children. Some parents, who love and have personal preferences, will treat their children differently. Just as eccentric parents and patriarchal parents around us cannot treat their children equally.
For patriarchal parents, sometimes their affection may be just one gender. To put it simply, even if it is not his own flesh and blood, as long as he is a son, he is more important than his own daughter.
1. Adopt the son and snub the daughter
Cheng Lingmei was born in a patriarchal family, she was a sister, before getting married, she also suffered a lot. After getting married, it was a good life for a few years, after all, the in-laws were still good to her, mainly because her husband was okay with her. After marriage, the two began to do business, and in this second-tier city, life is getting better and better.
For Cheng Lingmei, the only regret may be that she did not give birth to a son for her husband. She herself suffered greatly from her parents' preference for sons and daughters, but she carved the preference for sons over daughters in her bones. I also think that there is no son, that is, after the break, I am sorry for my husband, not to mention that no one will send himself the end and drop the basin in the future, how is this good?
This idea, after the death of her husband, became more and more intense. In fact, her physical relationship, after giving birth to a daughter, it is difficult to get pregnant again. But she was not reconciled, and she and her husband ran a lot of places, ate all kinds of folk remedies, and suffered a lot of sins. It was also in the process that the husband indirectly fell ill and died.
Cheng Lingmei, sad, accepted her in-laws' proposal and adopted the younger son of her uncle as her own son. At this time, her daughter Li Qian was 13 years old and had already understood things, and she could naturally understand what her mother's move meant. Originally, her mother had a general attitude towards her, and if she had an extra "younger brother", her life might be even more difficult.
Li Qian talked to her mother and hoped that her mother would retract this decision, saying that she would be filial to her mother when she grew up, and would not let her mother be inferior to a family with sons. But the mother said that it was different, saying: "The son is the root, he can give me a pension to the end, can give me a basin, you a female baby, do you deserve it?" ”
Li Qian was speechless, before there was no cousin before, her mother's attitude towards herself was that "the daughter is a loss of money, and she will not die of hunger." After her cousin moved over, Li Qian's life was even more difficult. Yes, in the past, mothers earned money and saved money for their unborn sons. Now, it is for the son who has passed on.
Anyway, in the end, it had nothing to do with Li Qian's daughter. After succeeding her son, the gap between Li Qian and her mother has deepened.
2. You can invest 1 million in your son's brainlessness, but you are unwilling to borrow your daughter's 150,000 to buy a house
After the family had one more son, Cheng Lingmei spent all her thoughts on this son, as for Li Qian, she could give a mouthful of food to eat and provide her with school, Cheng Lingmei felt that she was benevolent and righteous. In this way, from high school, until later college, and later after work, Li Qian's time at home was less and less.
It was not that she did not want to go home, but that her mother did not want her to come home, because her mother was always worried that when she came back, she would not go along with the family or want to get any benefit from herself. In short, Cheng Lingmei was wary of her own daughter everywhere, and she had an iron heart, and she wanted to leave everything, materially and her love as a mother, to this son.
Li Qian's in-laws are also an ordinary family, but her husband is very kind to her and gives her a warm home, so her obsession with the original family has also been alleviated a lot. Originally, if it had been like this, there might not be any problems, Li Qian gave living expenses on a monthly basis, did not add blockage to Cheng Lingmei, and rarely went back. Cheng Lingmei took care of her son wholeheartedly, everything was considered in front of her.
In fact, If Li Qian's children are not about to go to school, they need to buy school district houses, and this money is really not enough. She would not ask a mother whose daughter was married and who was not prepared for a dime of dowry to ask for help. After all, as long as she mentions money, her mother will cry poor, even if Li Qian knows that her mother is rich.
At that time, the mother just supported her son to start a business, 1 million years of savings, the mother did not blink an eye, she gave it out. And Li Qian opened her mouth to borrow 150,000 yuan to buy a house, willing to write an IOU, but also willing to give interest. But Cheng Lingmei disagreed and simply refused. Li Qian was quite devastated at that time, asking: "You are willing to give your unrelated son 1 million to start a business, why can't you lend your own daughter 150,000 to buy a house?" ”
Cheng Lingmei said: "I still said this sentence, I raised you to grow up, and I have fulfilled my obligations." My money, give it to whomever you want, your brother can give me a basin, you can't, so don't worry about my money. Li Qian finally made up enough money with the help of her friends, and after this incident, her relationship with her mother's family became even more distant.
03. I gave birth to you and raised you, and if you don't take care of me, you're a white-eyed wolf
Cheng Lingmei may not have dreamed that her beloved son, who held her in the palm of her hand, after almost destroying her savings, took her wife and children to live in the city, and directly began to deny this mother. He said that his hukou was not on Cheng Lingmei's hukou book, and the matter of succession could not be counted, for so many years, it was only himself doing good deeds, giving Cheng Lingmei a dream.
Even cheng lingmei was sick and hospitalized, he did not show up, Cheng Lingmei at this time, finally thought of her daughter. But Li Qian was already very cold to this mother, she did not hold back, shook Cheng Lingmei, asked her why she did not find a son to take care of, but let her a useless daughter to take care of.
Until this time, Cheng Lingmei was not dead hearted, and was still helping her son find excuses. She did not comment on her daughter's questioning, but said: "Sons and daughters are not the same, no matter what your brother is, I also have the grace of nurturing you, if you don't take care of me, you are a white-eyed wolf, or you are not filial piety." ”
Li Qian did not take care of it in the end, first, because she really did not have time, and second, she did not want to face such a mother. She later paid for a caregiver, and once again stressed with her mother that as a daughter, the only thing to repay for her parenting was living expenses. If you are obsessed with it, and do not grasp the little money you have in your hand now, you will wait to regret it later.
04. The end of the story
Cheng Lingmei naturally did not listen to her daughter's words, and her final ending was indeed not very good. The son who had succeeded him did not expect Li Qian, and after taking away the last bit of money in Cheng Lingmei's hand, he sold the house in the city and left with his wife and children. No one knows where this family is, of course, even if Cheng Lingmei's little uncle knows where his own son is, it is estimated that he will not tell the truth.
Anyway, in the end, Cheng Lingmei was paralyzed in bed, no one to take care of her, Li Qian really had no way to send her to a nursing home. Although someone takes care of it, it is certainly not as good as the care of relatives, besides, Li Qian does not have this ability, go to the best nursing home, ordinary nursing home, even if it is taken care of, it is impossible to be too perfect.
Whether Cheng Lingmei regrets it or not, no one knows, but she will occasionally shed tears when someone goes to see her. As the old saying goes, "Poor people, there must be something hateful." "Cheng Lingmei's current situation is indeed pitiful, but she is completely self-inflicted. She could have had the old age of her children and grandchildren, but because of her paranoia and son preference, she ended up with a bleak ending.
There is a saying that says, "Mortals fear fruit, and bodhisattvas fear cause and effect." "Everything in the world is cause and effect, and each of us, at a certain stage of the situation and results, traces back to the source, the reason, we will find that it is the result of our own words and actions and choices." Just like Cheng Lingmei in the text, her later life was so embarrassing. The root cause of this "evil result" is the original patriarchal preference and selfishness and short-sightedness.
The later life of each of us, whether it is good or bad, is largely determined by ourselves. It is not uncommon for parents to treat their children differently according to their personal preferences, secular concepts and interests, resulting in a bleak life in their later years. Only by treating each of their children fairly and justly, loving them well, educating well, and living in their old age can they be comfortable. Hopefully, we all have to be sensible parents, even for our own sake.
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