Text/End Of Little North
I like the saying: "Love and non-love are hidden in the details." ”
A look, a word, sometimes, can feel a person's love.
Well, in the same way, we can also feel the love and non-love of each other through a person's attitude and the way we treat you.
The attitude of the person who loves you is always positive and the way is always warm; the attitude of the person who does not love you is always negative, and the way is always cold.
Xiao Bei has been doing marriage counseling for thirteen years, during which he has been exposed to many cases, most of which are a person who is not loved, and has been struggling with not getting the same return.
When I asked them if they could still feel each other's love, their answers were unanimous, and they all said that they couldn't feel it.
You see, many people can feel each other's love and non-love, but they are not willing to accept it, and they are not willing to admit it.
Sometimes this is the case, when a person loves you, it may really be love from the heart, but when he/she does not love, it is also from the heart of love.
Usually, to judge whether a man is not in love, you don't have to guess blindly, compare the following two points to make it clear.
01: To you, stay indifferent and speechless
Some people say that between couples and couples, the most terrible thing is the quarrel, but Xiao bei believes that there is a quarrel, which also means that there is feelings, in fact, the most terrible thing is the powerless silence after the quarrel.
In the movie "No Questions", what impressed me the most, and the most difficult to reconcile, is the story of Liu Shufen and Xu Bochang.
Liu Shufen and Xu Bo are often a couple, but what is puzzling is that the gap between them, both in knowledge and class, is very large.
Hürber often attended college and was a respected teacher.
Liu Shufen, on the other hand, is a very ordinary middle-aged woman, with a mediocre appearance, and even some city servants.
They don't seem to be right at all, not at all.
However, when the two were young, they were also a loving couple. At that time, Liu Shufen was a worker in the factory and had an income.
Xu Bochang, on the other hand, was from a poor family and could not afford to read.
To say that it is not a good match, Xu Bochang at that time was actually not worthy of Liu Shufen.
But because of love, Liu Shufen chose to provide him with college, giving everything for the beloved.
This looks like an enviable love story in a fairy tale.
However, in fact, after Xu Bochang went to college, he saw the world, disliked Shufen, and even repented.
Later, in order to marry her beloved, Shufen did not hesitate to die, and finally got her wish.
But after getting married, Shufen lived an even more miserable life.
The husband does not love her, but also likes his students, and even in order to retaliate against Shu fen's forced marriage, he takes an indifferent approach to Shu Fen.
The two lived married lives in name only, and the husband treated everyone warmly and friendly, but when he faced her, he was cold and heartless.
The husband did not talk to her, did not use a cup with her, did not use a bowl with her.
For a long time, Shufen's enthusiasm has been poured cold water, and her husband has always been silent and indifferent to her.
Shufen collapsed, and while she wanted to touch her husband with enthusiasm, she did not get a response.
She often loses her temper because of her husband's indifference, beats and scolds her husband, and hopes that his husband can respond to herself a little.
However, no matter whether Shufen is good or bad, how to treat herself, her husband's attitude is always light and always indifferent.
I think that everyone can only see how Shu fen beats and scolds her husband, but few people see how Xu Bochang uses his indifferent tone and indifferent attitude to whip Shu Fen's heart.
In fact, In Shufen's heart, she also hopes that her husband can talk to herself, even if there is a big fight, it is more painful than endless silence.
In Shufen's body, I saw the shadow of many people. They have long lived in the cold violence of their husbands, and they have tried every means to get a response from their husbands.
As everyone knows, the husband's indifference and speechlessness are actually the best proof that they do not love you.
In marriage, the most terrible thing is not to be noisy, but "you turn a blind eye to me, I am indifferent to you."
02: For you, become reluctant to spend money
I believe that everyone must listen to a sentence:
"The person who spends money on you may not love you, but the person who is reluctant to spend money on you must not love you."
Seriously, this sentence is very useful in feelings.
Some people may say, isn't this advocating women's substance? However, this is really not the case.
Now in this society, women are becoming more and more independent, and there are many women who have the ability to make money, far beyond men.
But in their hearts, they also hope that a man is willing to spend money for himself, not for anything else, but to prove that his position in the eyes of men is not better than money.
As Zhang Ailing once said:
"Spend a man's money, and your heart rejoices." Spend his money, not because of the greed of women. ”
After all, loving such a thing cannot be seen or touched, and can only be proved in some way.
Spending money is the most direct way.
The colleague's boyfriend has just quit his job and does not have a lot of money, but when the colleague wants to eat a big meal, he will not hesitate to take her to eat.
Even if you don't have any money on your body, you will rush to pay the bill.
At the same time, he will buy clothes and gifts for his boyfriend, and want to give the best to his boyfriend.
So yeah, it's not that a woman is short of money, but a man who is willing to spend money for her and make her feel that love really exists.
In contrast, I've met a very strange man.
But he was very kind to himself, buying brand-name clothes, wearing brand-name shoes, going out to socialize, and buying thousands of dollars of famous wine.
To outsiders, he is generous, like a man who has no concept of money and is profligate.
However, it is such a person who treats his wife differently.
He was never willing to buy gifts for his wife, nor did he take the initiative to hand over his salary.
His wife buys clothes, he feels it's a waste of money, his wife wants to do a haircut, he thinks her wife is asking for his life.
In short, he was reluctant to even spend an extra penny on his wife.
Later, I heard that they were divorced.
The reason is that the man betrayed in marriage, and also spent more than a hundred thousand dollars on the woman outside the marriage.
It's a real story.
What does love look like?
In fact, when we are very young, we have a vague concept of love.
It's like when you were a kid with only a dollar of pocket money, you have to stay until the next day after school, and invite the little girl you like to eat ice cream.
Love, is not to give the best things that can be given to the other party within the scope of one's ability?
Roses ask for money, gifts also want money, and the romance of the wind and snow moon all cost money.
Love, not just lip service, but can't help but take action, spend money on the woman you love, is the most direct way to prove love.
So, when a man searches and searches you and is reluctant to spend money on you, then he just doesn't love you anymore.
03: Conclusion
Love or no love, in fact, there are traces to follow.
If a man has the above two manifestations, even if he says that he loves you and draws you a big cake, in fact, he has long lost your figure in his heart.
Therefore, as a woman, you must understand early, if you can feel not loving, then soberly tell yourself that the other party may really not love.
Leave such a man early, let him go, and let go of yourself.
Only then can you have a new beginning!
About the Author:
Su Xiaobei, a young writer and marriage counselor, has been engaged in psychological counseling for 13 years, if you have confusion about marriage and love, you can leave me a message.