Divorced female colleagues had to marry me, I thought she had an 8-year-old daughter, so her daughter came to me and talked: "Uncle, my mother is very beautiful, this is the truth." "I said yes. She said, "You."

Divorced female colleagues had to marry me, I thought she had an 8-year-old daughter, so her daughter came to me and talked: "Uncle, my mother is very beautiful, this is the truth." "I said yes. She said, "You just think I'm a drag bottle?" "I said yes. She suddenly sneered: "Uncle, you are so stupid, I am a girl, not a son, what are you worried about?" Don't look at me small, they all say that I am a beautiful embryo, and after 10 years, I will be a beautiful woman, and when I get married, you will have to receive a bride price. "I said yes. She continued: "If you find a first-time marriage, get married and have children now, and raise a child to 8 years old, it will cost you 100,000 yuan, not including your 8 years of anger because of children." You see you, married my mother, have a child, have a wife, how happy! "Not to mention, when I heard her say this, I was moved. She's 8 now, her mom is 35 and I'm 19. 10 years later I'm 29, she's 18 years old, and we don't seem to have a big gap in age. If I take good care of it, we should not feel violated when we are together, right?

2. On the day off, I went out to have a barbecue with my wife, and there was a family of four sitting across from us, and there was a little boy who looked particularly cute. The wife was teasing the little boy and asked, "Baby, what do you want to eat?" I'll get it for you!" The little boy said shyly, "Thank you little sister, I don't eat anything!" "This is because of this sentence to my stupid wife and aunt to enjoy." But at this time, another little boy in his family said: "Auntie, my brother is still young, he can only say sister, sorry aunt!" "At this time, my wife's face is green!"

3. On this day, the rich man went to his brother-in-law's house and saw a brother-in-law crying wolf. The brother-in-law said that he bought a high-quality Patek Philippe on the Internet and was disappointed to wear it for a week. The rich man asked, "You get what you pay for, right?" Is it not of bad quality? The brother-in-law said: "No, these days, I have raised my wrist when I see people, my arms are sore, and no one even asks what brand the watch is!" ”

4. When I was in elementary school, my father spent 50 yuan at the market to buy an old hen that lays eggs. Less than a week later, the old hen was gone. My brother said that I stole the chicken and sold it, and under the mixed doubles of my parents, I was beaten into a confession. After another week, the wounds on my body were almost healed, and the old hen returned with a group of chicks...

5. The rich man mosquito tattooed a Tang monk, the result is that the brother lost money one day, crashed the next day, and the company went bankrupt on the third day. On this day, he met the Jade Emperor and asked him what was going on, and the Jade Emperor said, "Go back and wait!" The rich man was anxious: "You are here to break me!" Jade Emperor: "Broken fart, you can't tattoo anything, tattoo Tang Monk, he is nine nine eighty-one difficult, you are only three difficulties!" Go home and wait! ”

6. The father-in-law retires and has nothing to do, raises some ducks, and waits all day for him to grow up and eat meat. But the wild birds went to steal grain every day, so the father-in-law went to the market to buy a slingshot. The father-in-law sat in kangtou all day and opened the window to beat wild birds, and did not fight one for several days. Finally, one day, the father-in-law beat a female duck to death! The father-in-law duck did not eat it, and the duck eggs were gone.

7. The boss said he and his secretary were going on a date together and asked me to leave work early and not to be a light bulb. I made my meal early at the end of the day. After the wife came back and finished eating, she wiped her mouth: When my career is successful, I will not let you go to work, and you will cook a meal every day. I couldn't help but be happy, thinking about sleeping until I woke up naturally every day, not having to squeeze the bus, playing games at home, and making a meal at the point... The more I thought about it, the happier I became, and I unconsciously finished washing dishes and washing clothes.

8. My nephew is a freshman in the first year of junior high school, and his academic performance is very poor! On his birthday the other day I gave him a few sets of math tutorial materials that I had carefully selected. I was woken up early this morning by the ringing of my nephew's phone. On the phone I heard him say: Thank you uncle for the gift, I like it very much, wish you will always be single and can't find a girlfriend.

  #Funny# #搞笑段子 #