It takes a lot of courage to dare to take the exam naked
After a week of painful struggle, leaving a large number of courses in this semester, and finally self-studying part of the course, the son finally took all the exams today, this entanglement and pain, only those who have experienced it can understand, but the child bravely faced, in fact, the exam results are not important, the key is that the child can still face the exam in such a situation, which is a major psychological breakthrough for a child with extremely high self-requirements.
When I went to pick up my son from school today, I saw the child come to me with a smile on my face, and that feeling was happier than when the child took the first place, because I knew that the child overcame the self and began to accept the imperfect self, which is conducive to the child's future life path, because a person cannot always be in the high place, only after falling into the abyss to know how to face the darkness, how to find the light, this is a very important life topic, and such a subject we have not let him experience in the past, so let the child become the original glass man As soon as it encountered difficulties, it shattered.
In the past year, we insisted on letting go, letting the children make their own decisions, which is also the purpose of the children's struggle, watching the children fall all the way down, once being worried and anxious, will it be doomed, will it be self-defeating, will it stay in the comfort zone forever....... But fortunately, with the support of discipline in love, we persevered, the child because of their own improper choices, constantly experiencing various setbacks, the only thing we do is to calmly and calmly accompany, catch the child's various emotions, do not disturb, do not nag, do not suggest, the child gradually out of the victim cage, from the original throwing pot man slowly shouldered their own responsibilities, began to face their own problems, and constantly looking for ways to solve the problem.
Father-son dialogue is getting smoother
I had a conversation with my son in the car on my way home today, which I started in the form of an interview.
Me: Son, Dad is particularly curious, in such a situation, how did you have so much courage to walk into the examination room?
Son: Anyway, the horizontal and vertical are all "dead", I choose to stand, I have to face it, otherwise I will regret it.
Me: Amazing, dad especially admired, I couldn't do it at that time, I must not dare to take the test. Your ability to resist pressure is leveraged, and Dad praises you!
Me: Dad would like to know, do you still have the feeling of collapse when you encounter questions that you can't do during the exam?
Son: There is no more, I am in a good state of mind now, I will not pass, I will have to make myself.
Me: It's really good, this is a particularly good mentality, such a mentality is conducive to super level play, which is very helpful for your future exams, remember that before you were seriously affected by a problem that could not be done, and now you have overcome this problem, especially good!
Me: When you go back to school this time, what is the attitude of the teachers and classmates towards you, and do you have the feeling of inferiority before?
Son: No, the teacher and classmates are very good to me, the math teacher said, just by your courage, the teacher will return to school to give you one-on-one tuition mathematics. Some students said to me, so you dare to come to the test, admire! Some students said to me, you are coming back to threaten us, if I can't pass your exam, then I will not study in vain this semester! I see their attitude as an encouragement, and I don't feel uncomfortable right now. Tomorrow I will go back to my alma mater with my junior high school classmates to see my teacher!
The son's pickiness about his classmates has decreased
My son also said a lot of words to me, saying that he suddenly figured out one thing when he was examining history, why I don't like to learn language, in fact, it is not that I don't like language, but I don't like the way I learn language now, the current way of learning is for a short-term achievement, this way is less the real fun of learning language, learning language should read more good books, reading at the same time also learn to think, the knowledge in the book into their own thoughts, in this process the language level will certainly be greatly improved, But for short-term achievements, it may not bring much change, but it is certainly good in the long run. I was calmed by my son's point of view, this child is too thoughtful, in fact, the essence of learning should be to improve their own quality, not the test score in front of them, but if the quality is improved, is the test still difficult?
From these conversations of my son, I think that the toss of this semester of high school is uniquely valuable, if our acceptance in the middle school entrance examination is still some forced taste, this time the toss is to let us really accept the child, under such acceptance, with the continuous maturity of the child's mind, we basically achieved parent-child reconciliation, he no longer attributed his own problems to us, but began to face, what he wants to achieve now is his own reconciliation with himself, he needs to truly believe in his own ability through his own exploration.
Achieve parent-child reconciliation, so that children can focus on themselves
And this time bravely facing the naked exam, is the child's self-breakthrough proof, before the exam all kinds of worry anxiety, will worry about the views of teachers and classmates, will worry about their own exam is not good, will others look down on him... But after experiencing it, many anxious things did not happen, but there were unexpected gains. Through such a setback experience, the child exercises a good attitude in the face of setbacks, learns how to accept the imperfect self, no longer entangled in his perfect personality, but focuses on how to change in the present to achieve his wishes.
There is also a point of understanding is particularly important, when the child and the parents reconcile, his energy will focus on how to improve their current situation, he will be in-depth thinking about the problems he can't think of, constantly trial and error, and finally find the right answer for himself, in this process, the parents' continuous and stable order is crucial, to allow the child's toss, such a toss is actually as early as possible, if the child can finally find the real self through such a toss during adolescence, it is valuable for his entire life.
To be continued, we will accompany our son's experience in the process of high school life, and share and publish one after another, hoping that our experience can help more families and children.
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Serial Directory:
Serial 12: Sunshine Boy Cultivation 12: The character of insisting on not giving up is ten thousand times more important than short-term achievements
Serial 13: Sunshine Boy Cultivation 13: Life is the best teacher, self-education is the real education
Serial 14: Sunshine Boy Cultivation 11: Resolutely stop the attack and let the son learn to have others in his heart