Hi, I'm Qianfan, I'm so happy to meet you!
The last few days have been a bit hectic, but also good things.
First, the scale of the [Retiree Writing Exchange Group] initiated by myself is growing, and it is a tiring and happy thing to pay attention to the information in the group every day and take time to reply.
Second, the writing training class I participated in was completed, and I was rated as an outstanding student in the class and was invited to share my experience.
Also, my daughter is back from the UK today from summer vacation.
For this reason, I cleaned the room a few days in advance, and also purchased a lot of food that my daughter likes to eat, and stuffed the refrigerator.
It's been three years since my daughter went abroad, and it feels like a short moment.
I remember that just after leaving, my mother was worried that I would not be able to adapt to the absence of my daughter, and she wanted to come from a different place to accompany me in her eighties, but I refused.
In my opinion, everyone will face the day when their children will grow up and leave home, and they will also face retirement.
You can't always rely on others to help you solve your inner problems.
In the past two days, I have been receiving private messages from fans in the background, saying that I feel bored after retirement, and I am very envious of the retirement life shared in my article, and ask me how I live.
Because I'm so busy, I can't talk about them one by one.
Today, I will write an article to share how I made my daughter's life happy and fulfilled through three methods after she went abroad.
01: Experience a different life
I retired at the end of October last year, and in fact, I retired from the company a few years ago, so I guess I am semi-retired.
My husband is still working, he is a very ambitious person, and most of the time he is busy.
After I retired at the end of October, I returned to my hometown in November to spend a month with my mother.
During this period, I often went to the fields contracted by relatives with my siblings to plant vegetables and water them, and experienced the feeling of working in the fields.
Later, he spent three months with his family in Hainan to live a sojourn life. In the process, I fell in love with taking pictures, and I took hundreds of photos during my stay, and I also made many good memories.
After retirement, I still insisted on updating articles, reading books, and participating in aerobic exercise every day.
I have a few close friends who have been together for 30 years, and we often have dinner together, chatting and shopping.
All this has brought me a sense of fulfillment, so that I do not feel empty and boring because of the departure of my daughter.
02: Keep yourself growing
When my daughter first went abroad, I was worried that she would not adapt to being abroad, that she would have irregular work and rest, and that she would not eat well, which would affect her body.
Every time she videos, she will be repeatedly told to pay attention to her physical health, pay attention to nutrition, and pay attention to exercise.
Che Gulu's words went back and forth, and her daughter became impatient to listen.
When I put myself in my shoes, I can also understand my daughter's inner state. If a person often whispers some truths in his ear that everyone understands, it will be annoying to anyone else.
Many parents will make the same mistake as me, and when their children grow up, the only thing they care about their children is food, shelter and transportation.
I used to be interested in psychology and often read some books on psychology. After my daughter went abroad, I began to study psychology as one of my majors.
As I learned more about psychology, so did the topics I could talk about with my daughter.
I learned to guide my daughter as much as possible without my own opinions in the process of communication, and to do not blame or judge, which brought our relationship closer and closer.
I believe that one should not give up on learning and growing at any time, which will improve your life, as well as your mood.
03: Love your child the way he wants
A colleague of mine has a meticulous love for her children, and when her children were from college to graduate school, she bought underwear and underwear and socks for her children, and sent them to the school by courier.
I asked her, when the child is older, why don't you let the child buy it himself? Did he like what you bought?
She said: I am worried that my child will not be able to buy it, and I hope that my child can feel her love when she buys these yourself.
But her son's relationship with her is not good, and her son rarely comes home, and he doesn't like to talk to her.
The more her son is like this, the more she cares about him in every detail, letting the child know how much she loves him.
In fact, when we love our children in the way we want, it is not true love, but a kind of self-desire satisfaction.
Because we need our children's gratitude, we need our children to be able to satisfy a certain desire in our hearts.
True love is to understand the child's inner needs and love him in the way the other person wants.
In my opinion, if you want to have a happy retirement, in addition to maintaining your own continuous growth, a good family relationship is essential.
In life, I have found that many parents treat their children with a lot of dissatisfaction and accusations.
This leads to a vicious cycle in which the relationship between the two parties is often in a circle.
In my opinion, a good way to get along is:
When we are together, we care for each other, cherish each other, and give each other the best love and warmth.
When you're not together, you can get busy with your own things and make yourself better and more energetic.
This is true in the parent-child relationship, but also in the relationship between husband and wife.
Finally, I wish every retiree a happy life and a wonderful life of their own. #退休后, how will you spend the rest of your life#